Wednesday, March 24, 2010

picture this

because i didn't have a camera. .

trip to Lowe's with the little girls. i needed two bags of dirt and 4 eight-foot long landscape timbers in order to revamp one of my herb gardens. we left the YMCA and headed to our favorite store. on the way, i was trying to think in my head how to transport the girls, plus all that i needed. obviously, i didn't think that hard. read on.

get to Lowe's. Natalie is deeply reading 'The Jungle Book' and is upset that i'm asking her to get out of the car.
'do you want to take the book with you?' i ask.
'oh yes!' she says.
wonderful. while she stands by the car, reading, i proceed to wipe Karis's sticky pop-tart face. yuck. i realize it's all inside her little jacket. so, i stood her up next to the car and swiped her front & backside. bad idea. she thinks i am setting her down to run around the parking lot like a banshee. i quickly swoop her up and grab Nat's hand. let's go.
Karis is so mad, she is flailing in my arms and i'm having a really hard time not dropping her. she's big, ya'll. i spot one of those rolling cart things and plop her in it. the screaming stops immediately. yay!
i drag her in the car, natalie walking very slowly behind, still reading.
'here's some dirt!' i plop two bags of dirt in the cart.
'mama, who is that?' nat asks.
me, straining to see what she's looking at while trying to keep karis on the cart, 'what is what?'
'who is that?' i see her pointing to Bagheera, the jungle panther.
'oh, that's Mowgli's friend.' i steer the cart to the very back of the garden center, only to realize the landscape timbers are waaay out front. we turn around. karis is realizing if she drags her foot on the ground, she can almost shimmy her way off the cart. we have to keep moving.
'what is he saying?' asks Nat, nose still in book, running into things.
'Nat, watch where you're going. he's saying he has to get Mowgli to the man-village.' finally, at the timbers. karis immediately gets off cart, climbs on piles of mulch. well good, at least she's not running in the street. one timber on cart. i quickly realize these timbers are waaay too long to fit nicely on this cart.
'MAMA!' natalie yells.
i whip around. 'what??'
'KARIS! where IS SHE??' side note here. natalie can be very very very dramatic.
i turn to look for karis, and see her just sliding over the top of a bag of mulch.
'she's fine. she's in the mulch.' timber #2, on the cart. now how in the world am i going to get karis on this cart now?
'but how will we EVER get her back??' natalie, craning her neck to see karis, happily playing.
Enter very nice Lowe's employee.
'uh, ma'am, if you want to go pay for the dirt, i'll load the timbers for you.' brilliant. i love him.
'let's go, Nat! quick!' i swoosh up karis, who immediately throws her back out, screaming. i'm pulling cart of dirt, holding Karis like a sack of flower. obedient natalie follows, nose in book.
screaming karis, smiling cashier. i smile as big as i can. 'hi! how are you?'
i have to put karis down to pay for the dirt. she runs away. but thankfully she ran towards the back, away from the road. good.
'MAMA! KARIS!' natalie, of course.
'yes, i know, sweetie. we'll get her in a minute.'
finish paying. track down toddler.
once again, me, screaming sack of flour, natalie with nose in book, me pulling cart.
we made it to my car. i throw karis in her seat and rip open a sucker. i know. i'm one of those moms. it works, people. every time. quiet karis, happily licking sucker in car seat.
natalie in seat, sucker for her too. 'i'm SO happy, mama!' she says. see, very dramatic.
i pop the trunk.
SHOOT! the stroller is in the trunk. how in the world will 4 8-foot timbers fit in my 4-door VW Passat??
Lowe's employee yells from afar: 'forgot to unload your trunk?'
i try to find strength from somewhere waaaay down deep. 'yep!'
he comes over. 'does your back seat fold down?' yes, i say. let's just fold those two kids up.
i realize if i do scoot natalie's seat to the middle, we can fold down a portion of the back seat. i unbuckled nat's seat, scooted her as far over to Karis as possible. 'whoa, mama! whoa!' karis looks at natalie like, 'any closer, and you get a sucker up your nose.'
me and Lowe's employee successfully put those 4 8-foot timbers in my car, plus two bags of dirt, stroller in the front seat, two kids in the back.

who needs a minivan? not me.

for other interesting crazy mom stories, check this out:

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