Tuesday, July 27, 2010

some things only happen to me

today was the most embarrassing moment of my little life. so far.

i'm so glad i have a public blog that i can tell the world about it. aren't you??

Mo is in town, and boy were we excited! we got her this morning, and as always, it is the best day in the universe for our Eldest. Mo is her BFF. we spent the morning actually running errands, as i have been car-less for the past 4 days (stir crazy, anyone?). it was so much easier with mature Mo, to help with car seat-buckling and hand-holding. she is really amazing. anyways, we ended our running around with lunch at McDonald's. we were on the other side of town, so we dined at the East-side McDonald's. i'd actually never been there, and realized quickly that it was definitely the cooler location (i am a West-side chick).

and now pause for the preface: the 22-month old current baby has been 'diagnosed' recently with something called 'toddler diarrhea' (does anyone see where this is going?). it's a common phenomenon among kiddos her age. it basically means she'll have bad diapers at least twice a day from now til. . not sure when. the most we've had so far has been 4 a day. yes, her poop has been scrutinized at the hospital lab, nothing is growing. my pediatrician, who i highly respect, only says to cut out fruit juices and to see her in a month to make sure she's not losing weight.

that whole scenario has been interesting, but i'm thankful it's nothing serious.

so we're at McDonald's. Mo and the eldest and i are happily munching. the baby (who i will now fondly call 'poopy') was certainly not interested in eating and demanded to get 'noun' (down). i relented and sent her off to play. she immediately zoned in on one of those stationary steering wheels. she stayed there a long time. and since i know her pretty well, i knew she was pooping. i prayed it wouldn't be bad.

it was. it was so. . . very. . . bad.

i saw her walk over to the baby slide. Mo went to check. she gave the stinky face to me. i jumped up, quickly remembering i'd just used up the wet wipes on Poopy's ketchup-y face. . i see Poopy. i see runny poop on the edge of her shorts. oh shoot (this means, i didn't bring a change of clothes). Mo elbows me and says 'look'. i see runny poop mixed with chunky poop all the way down the baby slide.

folks. i can't even tell you my emotion. i was frozen. the play-place was packed with kids. and 3 of them were on the baby slide, ready to go down.

i quickly shooed those kids off the slide. they practically ran. and let me tell you, poop news spreads fast. all around me, moms literally jumped up, screamed at their kids to 'get down from there!! we're leaving!' and rushed out of the play area into the dining area.

that's one way to clear a crowded area.

i grabbed every napkin off our table and the last remaining wipe, made a quick swipe of the slide as best i could. i hoisted Poopy under my arm, grabbed my bag, and made a dash for the restroom (while i was doing this, more chaos as moms were grabbing kids, other non-parentals were slowly eating, watching my every move, tucking their legs a bit closer under their table. . Mo was calming the Eldest down as she didn't understand why we were packing up and l-e-a-v-i-n-g as we had just gotten there.

in the bathroom, the one stall with the baby changing thingie was taken, and since i was completely mortified i wasn't going to stand around with Miss Poopy Shorts. we went to the other teeny stall. i thankfully had a changing pad i laid on the floor, along with Miss Poopy. i sat on the toilet while i tried my best to wipe diarrhea off her bottom and legs and clothes with thin, scratchy, McDonald's toilet paper. sweat was pouring out of every pore i had.

i finally just put a clean diaper on her and vowed to give her a full bath when we got home. and me. . i so did not want to exit the restroom. but i did. and boy. the eyeballs i was given. but i sucked it up, holding Miss Poopy close to me, and apologized to all the moms i could find. they were kind. one lady said 'it happens! don't worry about it!' i mean, come on. i'm surprised they were actually eating their lunch.

then i found the nice high school kid who was walking around with the mop bucket, and told him we had a poop issue. i said i would clean it, but this is what he said: 'i actually just did this earlier, may as well do it again.' what?? you mean my kids were playing on a poop-infested play-place?? what mom in their right mind would allow that to happen?? GROSS!


Miss Poopy is now clean, happy, and sleeping. she will hear about this some day. and i will never go back to that McDonald's for as long as i live.

and it ends.


Mandy said...

Poor Miss Poopy. And her mommy. Yikes.

WeeMasonMan's Mom said...

Oh my god, the things I have to look forward to!

Sounds like you handled it perfectly and POOP on them who gave you nasty looks! Kudos to you, momma!

Kelly said...

Isn't being a Mom grand :) PoorMiss Poopy, and poor you :( Hope you have a better day tomorrow and that she grows out of this...

Suzie Q said...

Ughhh, your poor little one :(

the mrs. said...

oh my.

maybe they should install walk thru decontamination chambers for us!

Thanks for sharing at BF!

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